Jul 2019 – Not So Goldilocks

Hi everyone! Hope you’re not all melting in this heatwave. I am at the office in central London currently, trying to find an alternative route home NOT via the underground… Although, it’s only 2 stops, so it might be fine…

Sorry, now to the point… I am a little bit in love with the Desert Island Discs programme, which I have been listening to on the BBC Sounds app. Both of my grandparents have done one and I thought it would be fun to have a go at finding out what tracks, book and luxury item you would all pick for your desert island stint. I have mine. Wanna hear what they are? Alright, here goes…

My 8 Tracks:

I’m Not In Love by 10CC – This song reminds me of my mum and grandma who shared a love for it when it first came out back in the 70s. When I hear it, I am reminded of a beautiful moment when we were all in a pub in Wales and it started to play on the jukebox. My mum and grandma hugged together and sang along to it. I’ll always remember how it made them feel and how it brought them together as mother and daughter.
Wrapped Around Your Finger by The Police – This song takes me back to being a child, growing up near Southampton, and makes me feel reminiscent and innocent… before the adult crap set in!! Plus it reminds me of my Dad which is always a good thing because he is awesome.
I Feel For You by Chaka Khan (But actually written by the wonderful late Prince) – I have a list of songs which immediately take me back to my childhood when I hear them. This is at the top of that list. I love everything about this song and I love to try and hit the high notes when I sing along!
Making Plans For Nigel by XTC – This is such a strong song. I love it. I never skip it or get tired of hearing it. We used to listen to XTC when we were kids (Are you sensing a theme here with my choices?) and this song was always a standout for me.
Licence To Kill by Gladys Knight – The best Bond theme song ever produced, very closely followed by Goldfinger by the incomparable Shirley Bassey. It’s dramatic, beautifully written and Gladys Knight sings it so passionately. I love singing this one, too, and have been known to mime along to it on a late-night walk home from the station, gestures and all!
Drift Away by Dobie Gray – My wonderful man sang this song at my mum’s birthday party last year, and it was amazing. He smashed it. My dad was accompanying him on bass and my brother on the drums. It was a really emotional moment for me to see my family join together on the stage like that – Three of my five favourite men (The other two being my little male creations).
He Lives In You by Lebo M – Better known as the opening theme tune to Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride! There is nothing I don’t like about this song. Lebo M is an incredible writer and artist, and it made me so happy to hear this song, sung in Zulu, on the new Lion King film soundtrack. You can also hear it in the stage show of The Lion King. I always turn this one up when it comes on, and the boys love it, too.
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen – Because, well, you know. I think everyone will have this song on their list… It appeals to such a range of music lovers! It reminds me of my family at my cousin’s wedding singing it all together, doing the voices and laughing our way through the song. Freddie Mercury is one of my all-time favourite vocalists – I love the drama, the passion and the power of his voice. Other favourites are Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones (I’m not Welsh, I promise!) for the same reasons.

If I had to choose one, I’d choose…

Probably Bohemian Rhapsody because I could sing and headbang to it all alone on the island and nobody can laugh at me!

Along with the bible and the Complete Works of Shakespeare (which I’d love to have anyway), my book choice would be:

If there was such a thing, I’d have the Complete Works of Harlan Coben! But, in lieu of that, I would probably take a massive encyclopedia with illustrations. I love learning facts, so this would be perfect for desert island reading!

And, finally, my luxury item would be:

Nivea Pearly Shine pink lip balm. I never go anywhere without it. Especially if it’s a warm climate.

Now over to you guys! Post your choices in the comments and have fun!

NSG xxx

As of last Saturday, I have finally decided to change my diet and my terrible eating habits once and for all. I have been over 2-and-a-half stone overweight for too long, and it is now becoming such a problem that I seriously cannot let it get any bigger, physically or metaphorically.

I have been eating junk food and large portions at meal times ever since Nathi was born. I remember being at Mamkhulu’s home in Swaziland after Nathi’s birth and eating 2-3 peanut butter sandwiches (yep, that’s 4-6 slices of bread) for lunch without a second thought. At that point, I thought I would be OK as I was breastfeeding and I still looked relatively slim (for me, anyway!). I had momentarily forgotten how my body works… which is that I eat badly, don’t put any weight on straight away, continue to eat badly, then BAM… I’m a stone or two heavier overnight and none of my clothes fit anymore.

I love food. I love all types of food, but mainly I love sweet food. Chocolate, desserts, popcorn, anything packed with sugar. My main vice, though, is cereal. Big, fat, mammoth bowls of cereal which, to quote my dad, ‘don’t leave enough room for the milk’. When I eat cereal at his house, I use one of their mixing bowls rather than a normal cereal bowl. And I went through a terrible phase just recently where I was eating three big bowls of cereal a day, sometimes in addition to other meals.

My physicality represents my mental health, there’s no doubt about that. I don’t really give myself enough care or respect. I don’t think I ever have done. I am terrible at sticking to my own opinions, I am rubbish at making decisions, and I have low self-esteem (much to people’s shock, as I hide it well most of the time). I am miserable in my own skin (Actually, my skin is a whole other blog post!), and I cannot let my children see that anymore.

Everyone puts weight on differently, and loses it differently, I’m sure. I put weight on around my middle and my upper arms mostly, but I’ve also recently struggled to get boots on, and even rings on my fingers. The arms and the middle are the two places which, if I put on weight, make me look a little bit like a small, round Oompa-Loompa (And not just any Oompa-Loompa… The one fourth from the left). I have a small chest and a small head and I am short. I need to go IN at the waist, not out. I remember remarking to a friend a few years ago that, when I put on weight, I look like a Walnut Whip as my head is so small compared to my body.

One of my ‘moments of clarity’ on this change I needed to make was as a result of a conversation with my mum. I was telling her how much I weighed and how much I wanted to lose, and she said to me; ‘Think of all that extra weight you’re carrying. It’s like you’re carrying a Khaya around with you all the time.’ WOW. That was it. The moment I realised that I’m a ‘Khaya-weight’ difference between what I want to weigh and what I do weigh. That’s a whole 4-year old. I’m carrying the equivalent of a 4-year old around with me all day long. I imagined how I would feel if I got rid of that fatty baggage (Not Khaya, the weight). How much easier would it be to do the simplest things, like walking or playing hide and seek with my boys!?

Because I’m a bit of a faddy person, I’m being sensible. I’m taking it a day at a time and not expecting too much too soon. I know how my mind works, and I am determined to do this. I don’t want me to fuck it up. I have replaced breakfast (Those huge bowls of cereal) with a SlimFast high protein shake with added fruit and soy milk or skimmed milk and, apart from being extremely gassy (sorry, TMI), I am already feeling a small difference. It may simply be the feeling that I’m doing something positive at last, as I don’t physically feel any lighter as yet! I also need to drink more water – My worst habit is not drinking enough. My next step will be to do more exercise – I have DVDs that I can do at home, and I have considered joining a gym, although I don’t really like them! It may be the only way I can join a Pilates class, though, which I miss terribly from my pre-mamahood days.

So, if any of you are in the same boat as myself and want to share your journey with me, please get in touch. I have friends and relatives who have done so well at losing weight and changing their lifestyles for the better, and I hope to be one of the next ones to do so. I can’t wait to be happier in my own skin.

Thanks for reading,

NSG xxx