Mamas

My New Pal Rodney

health, Life, lifestyle, Working parents

I have never been into cycling, even as a kid, and I have always been so scared to even think of riding on London roads on a skinny little frame with no metal casing around me, no music, no airbags… (Do you like my priorities there?!). I’ve always loathed cyclists as a pedestrian or a driver in London. Most of my near-misses have involved cyclists not abiding by the rules of the road. I find it insane that they can risk their lives and be above the law just because they’re not polluting the earth with fumes or adding to the claustrophobia of travelling on public transport. I remember one of my ex-colleagues got caught by the police riding through a red light once and I was secretly really chuffed that it happened! Weaving in and out of traffic, undertaking buses, busting through red lights and risking other people’s lives just to be that much further ahead? Is it really worth it? (I have to preface this by saying that I know not ALL cyclists ride like this in London, and I do appreciate the really good ones.)

I never wanted to be ‘one of those people’. But now I am, up to a point!

I signed up for an e-bike contract through work earlier this year on a total whim after taking part in a demo from our supplier. I have been looking for a way to get fit that I actually enjoy, and I thought cycling ticked all of the boxes. All-over workout, practical, money-saving, a nice way to see the city, easy, traffic-dodging and I would have an e-bike, which has power and will be easier to ride as I gained confidence and strength to start pedalling properly and really doing it as a workout rather than a cheap and fun way to commute to the office.

My first ride after receiving my e-bike (now named Rodney) was along a short stretch of the Grand Union Canal, from my office to Ladbroke Grove and back again. I really enjoyed the feeling of the wind in my face and the speed I was travelling at but hated the close proximity to unpredictable pedestrians and other cyclists whizzing past. When I got back, I spoke to a few seasoned cyclist colleagues who ALL said they hated riding along the canal. I thought, ‘If I can do that, then I can surely do road riding’.

So, I took Rodney home in the boot of my car with the idea that I’d cycle on the more familiar roads around my home and gain confidence slowly. That way, I would always know the way to safety if I got the wobbles! It took me a while to bring myself around to getting on it, but eventually, I rode to our local shopping mall and back, and I LOVED it. I learned more about Rodney’s abilities and what to do when I came to a hill (!). It was on a quiet Sunday afternoon, so I didn’t have a lot of traffic to contend with, but I gained confidence quickly and then wanted to do it more and more!

Cut to a sudden burst of bravery later, when I decided to ride to work one morning. I had planned to leave extra early so that I could take Rodney on an Overground train part of the way (which you can only do pre-7.30am in London), then cycle from Shepherds Bush station to the office, which is about 2.5 miles. I used my new phone holder to, well, hold my phone while I relied on Google Maps to take me through the cycling route. Again, I absolutely loved it! I saw parts of London I’d not seen before, around the Ladbroke Grove area, and was able to take it all in while taking a steady pace to the office. It took me about 15 mins to get to work and I felt so, so proud of myself. Sadly, during this ride, I pulled my back really badly when I lifted Rodders on to the train, so I was out of action for a couple of days following. After a full recovery, though, I planned to get back on the bike (which was still locked up at work) and ride home. All the way, this time.

So, the following Monday, I did it. I rode the 6 miles from my office to my flat. And it was amazing! My poor partner was probably worrying all the time I was on that journey, so I told him the moment I’d made it back safely. My highlights were Hyde Park and passing Kensington Palace, then whooshing past the traffic (carefully, of course) on Wandsworth Bridge Road, which I’d usually be stuck in if I’d been in the car. I rode on really busy roads and found that the vehicles were really kind to me. I know this won’t always be the norm, but I’m thankful for any kindness I receive! I also had a very nice cyclist behind me when I had to stop a bit abruptly at a zebra crossing. I suddenly, at this point, realised that bikes don’t have brake lights…

So, why am I like ‘them’ only up to a point? Because I’m a driver. And a pedestrian. Have been so for a while now! I know the rules. I abide by the rules. I stop at red traffic lights. I am cautious. I am aware and respectful of other road users and pedestrians. I know what it’s like to drive alongside a bike and I know what it’s like to cross a road and have to look every which way in case a speeding cyclist suddenly appears and doesn’t look like they will stop for you, despite you having right of way. I also know what it’s like to walk along pavements and no-cycling paths with small children and come across a cyclist breaking the bylaws. I know how dangerous it is to cycle like that. I don’t want to be like that. I have a family who needs me and I want to get home to them safely every day.

I’m hoping that, in a few months, my regular cycling will improve my health and my fitness levels as well as shedding a few (gazillion) pounds of flesh! I’m really excited to have found a form of exercise that I enjoy, and I hope it will be the start of a whole new lifestyle for me. For my sake and the sakes of my kids and partner, before I become an actual potato.

As always, thanks for reading,

NSGx

NSG is back!

Parenting

Wow! It’s good to be back! Same place, new logo (Do you like it?). How has everyone been since December 2019? Only 2 and a bit years since my last post…!

The NSG family has been through a lot. We have lost beloved members of our family, we have adjusted to new routines and jobs, we have all had Covid at the same time, we got through remote schooling and lockdowns, working from home…

We have to be proud of that. We got through it all and we’re still here and smiling.

Why did I stop writing my blog back in 2019? It was a number of things. I went into a full-time job around November 2019 which took up a lot of my time, energy and brain power, leaving no real quality time to write. I also received a comment about my blog posts – that they were ‘a bit much’. I’m still not really sure what that meant, but it made me doubt myself to the point where I just didn’t think my writing was any good and no-one would really want to read it. I forgot, in that moment, just how much I enjoy writing and how it can be so therapeutic, which was the main purpose of this blog in the first place. I just thought ‘I’m not good enough to do this, so I won’t’.

Why am I back now? I have been wanting to find the space and time to pick up where I left off with the blog for ages now, and I think I have finally found it. I have about 8 draft posts which are mostly irrelevant now, all written when I had a moment of inspiration. Some are unfinished, but others were not posted simply because I was afraid of them being ‘a bit much’, so they remain in my drafts folder to this day. I am now making this hobby a priority and getting back into the joy of writing, researching things to write about, and sharing some words which might help others (even if it’s just to entertain!), as well as picking up on my Spanish through Duolingo, working full time managing a brilliant office and raising my two sons!

So, watch this space, share, follow, like and, most importantly, enjoy!

It’s good to be back :),

NSG xxx

Book Review: The Mummy Lessons by Helen Wallen

Parenting

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Firstly, I want to say that I only found out yesterday that The Mummy Lessons is the second book in what is hopefully a whole series, following the motherhood experiences of three childhood friends, Emily, Liz and Molly. I am clearly very late to this party! But, like many parties, it’s better to be late than not turn up at all. And, even without knowing the hosts, I still had an awesome time and ended the evening feeling like I knew them well. Plus, it left me wanting to go out and get that first book…

OK, that’s enough of the party metaphors.

It’s true that all three ladies in the book are completely different people, all doing the motherhood thing differently, but you can’t help but sympathise with them all in some way. As a mother, I have probably felt the same way as all of them at some stage in my own experience, and I think other mothers (and fathers) will find this, too. This is how Helen Wallen draws us in to the story – She makes us fully empathise with the characters. I am not going to spoil the story in any way, as that would be just mean (and make my partner, who is a writer of stories, very angry with me!), but it felt like I was reading the diaries, Whatsapp chats and blog posts (and witty poetry!) of my dearest mummy friends – Content that I’d heard, felt and seen before, but this was portrayed by other people… so WE ARE NOT ALONE then!

This is one of the main things that I loved about this book – Its familiarity. It made it a real joy to read. Even at the end of a day (or sixteen) where I have felt so tired and fed up, this book brightened me up and made me laugh out loud before bedtime. Helen’s language and her ease at telling her characters’ stories made it easy to follow and kept me entertained throughout, even when things weren’t going too well in the story (Again, no spoilers).

The book also reinforces the importance of mummy friends, and I think every mum will read this book and feel ever-more grateful for their village. I know I did. I don’t think any of the characters could have gone through these stages of motherhood without each other, and I genuinely feel this way about my own mummy group. Just reading the Whatsapp conversations about babies that won’t sleep, and getting messages at 4.30am and actually responding to them… I remember it all so well!

What sets this apart from other books of its kind is that it is completely fictional (It seems that most others seem to be either autobiographical or an advice book rather than a story), but there is still a hint of ‘hmmmm’ about whether Helen Wallen has used some of her own experiences to create the stories of her characters. I can imagine that most of the parents out there could split their crazy experiences across three separate and totally different characters and still manage to make the stories feel so real.

I genuinely enjoyed reading this book, and was sad when I’d finished it (Although I got a little taster of Helen’s first book, Baby Boom, at the end – Nice touch!). It made me feel warm and cosy, but also sad and empathetic at times. This crazy journey we’re on as parents can only be fully enjoyed with laughter, jokes, not-so-candid conversations about baby weaning and a few swear words, and Helen Wallen has brought that into print for us all to enjoy, and for really not that much money! If that’s not a tonic, I don’t know what is…

NSG xxx

Where else can you follow Helen Wallen aka Just A Normal Mummy other than physically stalking her and her family?

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  • Links to the books on Amazon can be found in their titles, above. The Mummy Lessons is available on Kindle for only 99p for a limited time only – Get your copy asap!

 

 

A Different Approach to Parenting

Parenting

I have just read an article which I’ve had saved on my Facebook account for about a week (We all know how difficult it is to get around to these things!) – An interview with the psychotherapist Philippa Perry (who is also married to the rather brilliant artist, Grayson Perry) about her new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). I felt compelled to share it with you all (just click on the book title to be taken magically to the article), as it really resonated with me. I am sure some of you other parents will also feel the same way when you read the interview. In fact, the interviewer herself, Robyn Wilder, draws upon her own very personal experiences as a child and a mother.

As a mother who is sometimes, or often if I’m being really honest, lacking in enthusiasm to engage with my children, this article really struck a chord. She is completely right, of course, and I know that I have some work to do to make sure that my boys don’t grow up to be depressed, anxious and, well, like me. Although, saying that, I read the article aloud to my mother, and she only commented on the fact that she never drank coffee (See the article for context)! The truth is that my mum gave her all to us when we were growing up, and put us before everything else, yet I still came into adulthood having bouts of depression and anxiety.

During the parenting journey, we probably don’t realise that the things we do and say can have such an incredible impact on our children. Perhaps we don’t realise until it’s too late. But, what Philippa Perry says is not to fret. We all make mistakes, we are all ‘bad parents’. Even the parents we think have it all sussed out have failed now and then. Sometimes, even on our really off days, we can still succeed. In this day and age of alternative parenting techniques, often written by people who don’t have children, this is a refreshing and rather logical book of ‘advice’ coming from a psychotherapist who has been working with people with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues, as well as being a mother herself. Needless to say, I immediately followed the link to buy the book only to find out that it is currently not available. I hope that means that Philippa Perry has completely sold out and is now waiting for more books to be printed!

If you can, grab yourself a copy. I think it will be an interesting read for any parent and very different from the usual parenting advice books. If any of you have any other recommendations like this book, do let me know in the comments section of this post. I’d love to hear from you. Thanks!

Have a good week, followers and chums,

Not So Goldilocks xxx

What has NSG been up to this week?

Parenting

Hello followers! How are you all? I hope you’re having a good week, whether it is raining, windy, sunny, or all of the above.

It has been an interesting week in NSG Towers. Khaya turned a magnificent FOUR on Monday, and we took a rather brilliant trip to Hamley’s on Regent Street in order for him to choose his birthday present. We also promised Nathi an ‘unbirthday present’, which is a tradition in my family. Here are some of the highlights:

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We have also been busy seeing family, and making Baba Bear feel comfortable in his London home after being away for over a year.

Mama has been on a bit of a fundraising jolly, having raised over and above my goal for Ovacome through my birthday fundraiser. We now have an active family fundraiser for Comic Relief through JustGiving, which went live this evening. The boys took part in a cake sale at their nursery today, and we will all be tuning in to the Comic Relief live show on BBC1 tomorrow evening.

I was also very moved by the awful Ethiopian Airways plane crash this week. It was, quite frankly, way too close to home. Not only have we used that airline, and possibly that very aircraft, in the past, but my partner told me that he could have been on that flight if he’d decided to stay in Ethiopia a little longer for a work launch. He said that he would have flown any route to get him back to the UK that didn’t cost the earth, which very well may have included flying from Addis Ababa to Nairobi for a connecting flight. I can’t imagine what the families of those poor victims are going through right now. My thoughts are with them.

I have ordered more merchandise for my company, just for me, and have been working on a business plan to find out what I can do next. What kind of journey will this venture take me on? I never saw myself as someone who would need to know anything about business, but perhaps this is what I was meant to do after all.

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I am currently halfway through my amazing Start Writing Fiction course, which I signed up for through FutureLearn. It is free, and it is run by the Open University. I am really enjoying it, and am getting lots of interesting and useful guidance for my fiction writing. And, did I mention, IT’S FREE! I urge you to go to their site and see if there is a course for you. I bet there will be. Here you go: https://www.futurelearn.com/.

And now, we are gearing up for our friends at Two Gents’ production of The Importance of Being Earnest at Tara Arts Theatre in Earlsfield, SW18, which closes on Saturday night. If you’re local and fancy a night out, please book your tickets here. It’s a two-hander, both females, and should be a very interesting and entertaining night of theatre!

So, I hope everyone has a great weekend, and please donate anything you can to our Comic Relief fundraiser over on JustGiving. It all goes to the people who need it the most and, as much as I believe that this shouldn’t be how the world is in 2019, every little will help. Thank you, and goodnight.

NSG xxx

PS. I learned a little lesson in reblogging today, and how not to do it. I reposted a lovely post that I had enjoyed by another blogger on WordPress, but hadn’t made it clear enough that it wasn’t my own post… Needless to say, I had a concerned friend contact me by text about it, so immediately took it down again. Huge apologies to the blogger who wrote the original post – I am still learning!

International Women’s Day

Parenting

Not that we need a particular day to celebrate the amazing women in this world, but it’s always nice to focus our attention to some of the influences we have as women.

This past year or so has been rather monumental with the #MeToo movement (which also included men, of course), and awards/nominations/elections being fairer between men and women. Things are beginning to change, and it’s about bloody time, too! I have always thought about how women have been treated in the past and the present. The sexual innuendoes, harrassment, and the general feeling that men are naturally born to treat women in such a derogatory manner. What gets forgotten is that, without women, there would be no men! There would be nobody. I would LOVE to see a man in childbirth. I would love to see many of the tables turned to show men how difficult it is to be female sometimes. The pressures, the pains, the constant battle to be recognised as an equal in business, the notion that we are objects of attraction, or should be, and the inability to control what happens to our bodies sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I know men have pressures and pains of their own (I, for one, would not like to know what it feels like to be kicked in the balls), and I think women are generally sensitive to those things, but it doesn’t seem to work so well the other way around. I KNOW I am generalising like crazy, so I apologise to any men or women who disagree with what I am saying. I suppose you never really know something until you experience it for yourself, so we are never going to be able to truly get men to understand that getting pregnant and having a child, or an abortion, has extreme emotional and physical effects on our bodies and minds.

Anyway, enough of the rant. What I really wanted to write about today are the wonderful women who I have been following online, and who have all played a part in influencing me and my writing, and my confidence. Here is my guide to the best women online at the moment, and why…

Sarah Turner AKA The Unmumsy Mum

Sarah Turner has been a huge influence on me (Not that I’ve had the guts to tell her that yet!). I received a copy of her first book, The Unmumsy Mum, on my first birthday as a Mama. It got me through some really tough times in those early days, and I was so relieved to see that I was not alone in feeling crappy sometimes. Sarah made it feel totally normal, and even quite funny, to go through those harder times. She has an amazing way with words, and is not afraid to tell it like it is. Every post of hers makes me laugh. She is mama to three boys, and is about to release her third book, which is on my preorder list! If you haven’t already seen her online, find her, and enjoy.

Giovanna Fletcher

This mama has done so much. Not only has she had three babies (also three boys!), she’s written books, she is an ambassador for charities, broadcasts her own podcasts, as well as vlogging and posting photos and videos on social media every day. I can honestly say that she is my mummy goal! I remember when I was in a CBT session last year, my counsellor asked me who I think is the perfect mum, and I immediately said ‘Giovanna Fletcher’. She’s an inspiration to all mamas, and I think she has completely nailed it.

Sarah Gynn AKA The Crafty Wintonian

I have a bias here, as Sarah is my wonderful cousin. But, she still kicks ass. I have been so proud of what she has achieved (Again, but I’m too chicken to tell her to her face!), and under the circumstances she has had to go through over the past few years. Sarah has two children, and decided a while ago to do something she really wanted to do – Launch a website and a business that teaches others how to crochet, knit and do other wonderful (and rather useful) crafty things through workshops across Hampshire and the surrounding area. For her, it was a way to ease issues with mental health, and she wanted to help others to get the same benefits. She also makes items and sells them at craft fairs. Her website is awesome, please check it out and, if you can, go to one of her workshops! She is a teacher by trade, so she knows her stuff.

Tova Leigh

Another mummy who just seems to have done so much! I admire her bravery, her attitude towards motherhood and her ‘mum-bod’. She’s funny, she’s bold, and she has an amazing smile. She also has a podcast, and regularly uploads videos, sometimes live. She has been through some tough times, and is a real influence to all mamas who have struggled. I suggest you check her out on social media (She’s on all platforms)!

Ellie Russell – CWP Consultant

OK, biased again, as this is my other wonderful cousin! Regardless of this, she is also kicking ass. Ellie recently lost 4 stone with the Cambridge Weight Plan, and is now working for them as a consultant to help others keep going when the going gets tough. She recently posted a screenshot of her Fitbit stats, which showed she’d done almost 20,000 steps, and I seriously have no idea how she managed to do that in one day! As someone who is carrying too much weight, and eating too much junk right now, I can’t help but look up to Ellie for making such an incredible change to her life. She tells me she feels better in all aspects, not just physically. I admire her greatly. If you’re in the Birmingham area, give her a shout!

Mandisa Mamba

Another bias (sorry!). My sister from another mister, Mandisa Mamba. She is beautiful, talented, strong and a fantastic mother to her son – My boys’ cousin Kenzo. She has raised him virtually all by herself, and he is the brightest, cleverest and most devious little man ever. She decided a few years ago that she wanted to pursue music as a career in Swaziland, and has worked tirelessly and with many obstacles to get to where she is today. She recently won Best R&B Artist at the 2018 MTN SWAMA Awards in Swaziland, and is still keeping on, writing and performing alongside her job as a mother. She really does kick some serious ass. She represents a large majority of women in Swaziland who no doubt look up to her for her determination and strength in her dreams to become a successful artist. Check out her music through the link, above.

So, even just these few women have made a massive impact on me and, most definitely, many others. Thank you all for what you have done for us mamas/women. You’re all amazing.

Happy International Women’s Day to you all!

NSG xxx

(Photo credit: Ian Macharia from Unsplash.com)

An Apology

Parenting

So, I have spent the whole morning editing and checking every single one of my fifteen blog posts, completely unaware that each time I updated the changes, I was actually posting the whole thing to each one of my social media sites! So, if you’re now completely sick of seeing my face popping up on your news feed, then this apology is for you.

If it is any consolation, it has been rather enlightening going back over the past two years of my motherhood and realising how far I have come. After many ups and downs, and many trips across the continents, I think things are beginning to settle down for me. I think I am doing a lot better at this parenting game/job/life now.

Thank you for supporting me with my blog, and for hopefully sticking by me after being bombarded with all of my old posts today.

NSG xxx

(Photo credit: Felix Koutchinski from Unsplash.com)