NSG is back!

Wow! It’s good to be back! Same place, new logo (Do you like it?). How has everyone been since December 2019? Only 2 and a bit years since my last post…!

The NSG family has been through a lot. We have lost beloved members of our family, we have adjusted to new routines and jobs, we have all had Covid at the same time, we got through remote schooling and lockdowns, working from home…

We have to be proud of that. We got through it all and we’re still here and smiling.

Why did I stop writing my blog back in 2019? It was a number of things. I went into a full-time job around November 2019 which took up a lot of my time, energy and brain power, leaving no real quality time to write. I also received a comment about my blog posts – that they were ‘a bit much’. I’m still not really sure what that meant, but it made me doubt myself to the point where I just didn’t think my writing was any good and no-one would really want to read it. I forgot, in that moment, just how much I enjoy writing and how it can be so therapeutic, which was the main purpose of this blog in the first place. I just thought ‘I’m not good enough to do this, so I won’t’.

Why am I back now? I have been wanting to find the space and time to pick up where I left off with the blog for ages now, and I think I have finally found it. I have about 8 draft posts which are mostly irrelevant now, all written when I had a moment of inspiration. Some are unfinished, but others were not posted simply because I was afraid of them being ‘a bit much’, so they remain in my drafts folder to this day. I am now making this hobby a priority and getting back into the joy of writing, researching things to write about, and sharing some words which might help others (even if it’s just to entertain!), as well as picking up on my Spanish through Duolingo, working full time managing a brilliant office and raising my two sons!

So, watch this space, share, follow, like and, most importantly, enjoy!

It’s good to be back :),

NSG xxx

Who, or What the Heck, is Not So Goldilocks?

Parenting

So, I’m sure you have begun to see me popping up on your social media feeds. I really hope so, as I have been working hard to infiltrate all platforms and not getting paid for it!

But, what am I all about? Who am I? What am I? What exactly can I bring to the world to make it a better place? Well, I don’t quite know about that, but I can answer some simple questions…

What makes you happy?

Strawberry Pop Tarts, when the boys give each other a hug, chocolate, hugs from my fella (Can you see a pattern forming here??), laughing, getting lost in a good book, creating new stories with my sons, making people laugh.

What are your vices?

Erm, Strawberry Pop Tarts… and anything sweet, really. I could eat massive bowls of cereal for each meal every day forever, with not enough room in the bowl for the milk. And then, for snacks, Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut. A whole bar. One of the big ones… or maybe more than one…

Where have you lived?

I am currently living in South West London, which I love, but I have lived in Southampton, Winchester, and have had a year-long home in Lilongwe, the capital city of the beautiful country of Malawi, which my sons and I stayed in on-and-off for a total of 6 months last year. I also call Swaziland and Johannesburg in South Africa my homes. We have family in both countries and it really feels like home when we go to visit them.

When did you start writing?

I have always loved writing and creating stories, and I think I was quite good at it at school. My only issue was self-confidence. When I left secondary school, I wanted to be a journalist and went into sixth-form with this in mind as my career goal. But I didn’t do well in my A-levels, and it knocked my confidence completely out of the park. I put it to the back of my mind. I got into working life and just didn’t have time to write! I did always, and still do, love to communicate via writing rather than verbally in person or on the phone – Thank goodess for the introduction of emails! I have recently decided it’s time to start the writing up again and have come up with a few ideas for novels. For the time being, I will be developing these ideas between work, kids, life, family, chores… and you can watch this space! I will be continuing with the blog, though, as it is really great to have a place to write whenever I feel the inspiration!

Why ‘Not So Goldilocks’?

I came up with the name after I found out that Bear MiniMum had been used already! It really comes from having three bears (my partner and two sons) and not very golden locks!

Anything else?

If you have any other questions for me, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me via email at notsogoldilocksblog@gmail.com.

NSG xxx

‘Start Writing Fiction’ Course Review

Parenting, Writing

I have recently completed a fantastic online course that I just had to recommend and share with you all. The course can be found here and it runs a few times per year online. I would highly recommend it for anyone who wants to start writing fiction (Clever name for the course, right?!).

The course runs for 8 weeks, but you can do as much or as little as you want at a time. The free option only gives you limited access to the course material, but there is a chance to upgrade for £42, which includes a certificate upon completion of the course. There are different mediums involved in the course and, by far my favourite element of the course, there are a couple of opportunities to have people critique your work. I found this really useful, if a little nerve-wracking at first. But everyone on the course was in the same boat, so it felt like equals/colleagues giving feedback on the work you’ve produced. It wasn’t like writing an essay at university and handing it in to the professor who knows everything about that subject. We were all in it together, and there were a lot of us! Some of us chose the same times to study, so I found that I crossed paths with the same people every so often. That was nice. I also got to give feedback on their work, which gave me a different perspective on writing and taught me to see other texts from a writer’s, and editor’s, viewpoint.

There are some great tasks throughout the course as well as videos and audio footage of established authors talking about how they work and offering helpful tips. You will learn about different aspects of writing but the course is mainly focused on character development. This is something I’ve never really started with when thinking of writing a story. I always begin with a plot (of sorts!) and the rest falls into place around that. This course taught me how to prioritise characters and then the plot can work around them. It was also really useful to hear successful authors talking about their processes, including Alex Garland and Louis De Bernieres.

I came out of the course feeling more confident, with the resources to help me formulate any kind of story by myself. There are documents you can save, including a prompt cloud which contains all sorts of random words to alleviate those writer’s blocks and give you some inspiration. Plus, you can download transcripts of the audio files by the published authors. I was so impressed with the content of this free course and I didn’t feel it was worth spending the money for the unlimited access and certificate, but that was just my choice!

Please, if you have any interest in starting to write your own stories, sign up at FutureLearn and, if there are other interests you’d rather pursue, then there may be other courses for you there, too!

Happy Learning!

NSG xxx

Thank You!

Life, Parenting

Happy Hot Day, everyone. I hope you’re all keeping cool somehow. If not, wait until tomorrow when the temp will drop by about 10 degrees!

I had a nice start to the day today – I woke up this morning to notifications from WordPress telling me that my blog had been visited more often than usual for a Tuesday morning. I had loads of views at around 7am. I have spent ALL day trying to work out why – Was it something I tagged in a post that is currently trending? Nope. Did someone famous signppost their Twitter followers to my blog? Nope.

Then I had a brainwave about an hour ago.

I regularly receive the Nappy Valley Net weekly e-newsletter, which is aimed for parents in the SW London area. A couple of weeks ago they posted an article/discussion about something that was written about my grandparents in the press (They live locally, too. Upstairs, in fact). The article said that my grandfather was sad to have to sell their Wandsworth home. This wasn’t true, and the words that were actually spoken were taken way out of context. I’m sure it went along the lines of ‘We probably should downsize, but we can’t bear to leave this house’. The discussion on Nappy Valley Net garnered a lot of lovely comments from local parents who have enjoyed their Great Canal Journeys programme and showed real compassion for their situation. I felt that I had to set the record straight about them – That they are not reluctantly selling their home at all. So, about a week or so ago, I posted a comment on the discussion.

Early this morning I received the new Nappy Valley Net e-newsletter which contained an update on that story mentioning me and my comment! And, because I posted as Not So Goldilocks, I guess some of the other parents who were browsing through the newsletter at the crack of dawn, like myself, wanted to see who I was (now that they knew where I lived!).

And that was it! My ‘Eureka’ moment.

So, thank you so much to Nappy Valley Net and all of its followers – Not only for the welcome traffic, but for the beautiful and supportive messages you have posted about my grandparents. I will pass them all on.

NSG xxx

Book Review: The Mummy Lessons by Helen Wallen

Parenting

Firstly, I want to say that I only found out yesterday that The Mummy Lessons is the second book in what is hopefully a whole series, following the motherhood experiences of three childhood friends, Emily, Liz and Molly. I am clearly very late to this party! But, like many parties, it’s better to be late than not turn up at all. And, even without knowing the hosts, I still had an awesome time and ended the evening feeling like I knew them well. Plus, it left me wanting to go out and get that first book…

OK, that’s enough of the party metaphors.

It’s true that all three ladies in the book are completely different people, all doing the motherhood thing differently, but you can’t help but sympathise with them all in some way. As a mother, I have probably felt the same way as all of them at some stage in my own experience, and I think other mothers (and fathers) will find this, too. This is how Helen Wallen draws us in to the story – She makes us fully empathise with the characters. I am not going to spoil the story in any way, as that would be just mean (and make my partner, who is a writer of stories, very angry with me!), but it felt like I was reading the diaries, Whatsapp chats and blog posts (and witty poetry!) of my dearest mummy friends – Content that I’d heard, felt and seen before, but this was portrayed by other people… so WE ARE NOT ALONE then!

This is one of the main things that I loved about this book – Its familiarity. It made it a real joy to read. Even at the end of a day (or sixteen) where I have felt so tired and fed up, this book brightened me up and made me laugh out loud before bedtime. Helen’s language and her ease at telling her characters’ stories made it easy to follow and kept me entertained throughout, even when things weren’t going too well in the story (Again, no spoilers).

The book also reinforces the importance of mummy friends, and I think every mum will read this book and feel ever-more grateful for their village. I know I did. I don’t think any of the characters could have gone through these stages of motherhood without each other, and I genuinely feel this way about my own mummy group. Just reading the Whatsapp conversations about babies that won’t sleep, and getting messages at 4.30am and actually responding to them… I remember it all so well!

What sets this apart from other books of its kind is that it is completely fictional (It seems that most others seem to be either autobiographical or an advice book rather than a story), but there is still a hint of ‘hmmmm’ about whether Helen Wallen has used some of her own experiences to create the stories of her characters. I can imagine that most of the parents out there could split their crazy experiences across three separate and totally different characters and still manage to make the stories feel so real.

I genuinely enjoyed reading this book, and was sad when I’d finished it (Although I got a little taster of Helen’s first book, Baby Boom, at the end – Nice touch!). It made me feel warm and cosy, but also sad and empathetic at times. This crazy journey we’re on as parents can only be fully enjoyed with laughter, jokes, not-so-candid conversations about baby weaning and a few swear words, and Helen Wallen has brought that into print for us all to enjoy, and for really not that much money! If that’s not a tonic, I don’t know what is…

NSG xxx

Where else can you follow Helen Wallen aka Just A Normal Mummy other than physically stalking her and her family?

Instagram
Twitter
Facebook
Blog
Links to the books on Amazon can be found in their titles, above. The Mummy Lessons is available on Kindle for only 99p for a limited time only – Get your copy asap!

A Different Approach to Parenting

Parenting

I have just read an article which I’ve had saved on my Facebook account for about a week (We all know how difficult it is to get around to these things!) – An interview with the psychotherapist Philippa Perry (who is also married to the rather brilliant artist, Grayson Perry) about her new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). I felt compelled to share it with you all (just click on the book title to be taken magically to the article), as it really resonated with me. I am sure some of you other parents will also feel the same way when you read the interview. In fact, the interviewer herself, Robyn Wilder, draws upon her own very personal experiences as a child and a mother.

As a mother who is sometimes, or often if I’m being really honest, lacking in enthusiasm to engage with my children, this article really struck a chord. She is completely right, of course, and I know that I have some work to do to make sure that my boys don’t grow up to be depressed, anxious and, well, like me. Although, saying that, I read the article aloud to my mother, and she only commented on the fact that she never drank coffee (See the article for context)! The truth is that my mum gave her all to us when we were growing up, and put us before everything else, yet I still came into adulthood having bouts of depression and anxiety.

During the parenting journey, we probably don’t realise that the things we do and say can have such an incredible impact on our children. Perhaps we don’t realise until it’s too late. But, what Philippa Perry says is not to fret. We all make mistakes, we are all ‘bad parents’. Even the parents we think have it all sussed out have failed now and then. Sometimes, even on our really off days, we can still succeed. In this day and age of alternative parenting techniques, often written by people who don’t have children, this is a refreshing and rather logical book of ‘advice’ coming from a psychotherapist who has been working with people with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues, as well as being a mother herself. Needless to say, I immediately followed the link to buy the book only to find out that it is currently not available. I hope that means that Philippa Perry has completely sold out and is now waiting for more books to be printed!

If you can, grab yourself a copy. I think it will be an interesting read for any parent and very different from the usual parenting advice books. If any of you have any other recommendations like this book, do let me know in the comments section of this post. I’d love to hear from you. Thanks!

Have a good week, followers and chums,

Not So Goldilocks xxx

What has NSG been up to this week?

Parenting

Hello followers! How are you all? I hope you’re having a good week, whether it is raining, windy, sunny, or all of the above.

It has been an interesting week in NSG Towers. Khaya turned a magnificent FOUR on Monday, and we took a rather brilliant trip to Hamley’s on Regent Street in order for him to choose his birthday present. We also promised Nathi an ‘unbirthday present’, which is a tradition in my family. Here are some of the highlights:

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We have also been busy seeing family, and making Baba Bear feel comfortable in his London home after being away for over a year.

Mama has been on a bit of a fundraising jolly, having raised over and above my goal for Ovacome through my birthday fundraiser. We now have an active family fundraiser for Comic Relief through JustGiving, which went live this evening. The boys took part in a cake sale at their nursery today, and we will all be tuning in to the Comic Relief live show on BBC1 tomorrow evening.

I was also very moved by the awful Ethiopian Airways plane crash this week. It was, quite frankly, way too close to home. Not only have we used that airline, and possibly that very aircraft, in the past, but my partner told me that he could have been on that flight if he’d decided to stay in Ethiopia a little longer for a work launch. He said that he would have flown any route to get him back to the UK that didn’t cost the earth, which very well may have included flying from Addis Ababa to Nairobi for a connecting flight. I can’t imagine what the families of those poor victims are going through right now. My thoughts are with them.

I have ordered more merchandise for my company, just for me, and have been working on a business plan to find out what I can do next. What kind of journey will this venture take me on? I never saw myself as someone who would need to know anything about business, but perhaps this is what I was meant to do after all.

I am currently halfway through my amazing Start Writing Fiction course, which I signed up for through FutureLearn. It is free, and it is run by the Open University. I am really enjoying it, and am getting lots of interesting and useful guidance for my fiction writing. And, did I mention, IT’S FREE! I urge you to go to their site and see if there is a course for you. I bet there will be. Here you go: https://www.futurelearn.com/.

And now, we are gearing up for our friends at Two Gents’ production of The Importance of Being Earnest at Tara Arts Theatre in Earlsfield, SW18, which closes on Saturday night. If you’re local and fancy a night out, please book your tickets here. It’s a two-hander, both females, and should be a very interesting and entertaining night of theatre!

So, I hope everyone has a great weekend, and please donate anything you can to our Comic Relief fundraiser over on JustGiving. It all goes to the people who need it the most and, as much as I believe that this shouldn’t be how the world is in 2019, every little will help. Thank you, and goodnight.

NSG xxx

PS. I learned a little lesson in reblogging today, and how not to do it. I reposted a lovely post that I had enjoyed by another blogger on WordPress, but hadn’t made it clear enough that it wasn’t my own post… Needless to say, I had a concerned friend contact me by text about it, so immediately took it down again. Huge apologies to the blogger who wrote the original post – I am still learning!

Not So Pancake Day

Parenting

Just to be different/edgy/quirky, Pancake Day in the NSG household will be on Ash Wednesday. Mainly because neither of the boys finished their dinner last night, so I wasn’t going to give in and feed them sugar instead, despite their demands and tantrums! Sometimes it is so hard to mention these things to kids, as it completely affects their ability to do anything in the moment once they know something really exciting will happen soon. And, of course, they’re going to prefer a delicious chocolate-filled pancake rather than the (actually-rather-delicious) pie and mash that I made for their dinner.

I make pancakes quite often, thanks to an amazing recipe that I was given a while ago when cereal or porridge just wasn’t cutting it with my firstborn at breakfast time. Here is a link to the recipe I was given: 2-ingredient banana pancakes. In this recipe, they recommend many different options, and I have played around with different additions for ages. I think I have got it down now, and we love to eat them with plain Greek yoghurt and fresh blueberries or strawberries. Here is what I mix together for the pancake batter:

Bananas – Make sure they’re ripe to overripe.
Eggs (large) – Use one egg for every banana you use
Porridge oats (A sprinkle to thicken the batter a bit)
Milk (To thin it out again!) – You just need a splash or two
Cinnamon (Because everything should have cinnamon in it) – A pinch or two, depending on your taste
Raisins – Enough so that each pancake has about 5 or 6 raisins in it

Use a little butter for frying, and keep them small. I usually do about two or three in the pan at the same time. Serve them with the yoghurt and berries, and enjoy! Perhaps this may help one of you when your child refuses to eat their breakfast. If these don’t work, there is a wonderful website with many ideas for new and exciting meals for kids called My Lovely Little Lunchbox. Take a look for yourself.

Wishing everyone a Happy Ash Wednesday, and good luck if you’re giving something up for Lent this year.

NSG xxx

An Apology

Parenting

So, I have spent the whole morning editing and checking every single one of my fifteen blog posts, completely unaware that each time I updated the changes, I was actually posting the whole thing to each one of my social media sites! So, if you’re now completely sick of seeing my face popping up on your news feed, then this apology is for you.

If it is any consolation, it has been rather enlightening going back over the past two years of my motherhood and realising how far I have come. After many ups and downs, and many trips across the continents, I think things are beginning to settle down for me. I think I am doing a lot better at this parenting game/job/life now.

Thank you for supporting me with my blog, and for hopefully sticking by me after being bombarded with all of my old posts today.

NSG xxx

(Photo credit: Felix Koutchinski from Unsplash.com)